It’s been a fabulous weekend here in New York. Governor Cuomo fought and won for gay marriage while still seeming like a douche. Mayor Bloomberg responded to the news by saying “Oh Good,” like the waiter at Minetta Tavern told him the kitchen had one last Crème Brulee just for him. And just in time [...]
When Entourage premiered in July of 2004, I had just turned 26 (roughly the same age of those characters), and I would have given anything to have that lifestyle in my own life. Wealth, fame, and of course, women throwing themselves at you. It’s almost seven years later, and I’ve just turned 33, and I [...]
As I grow a year older (Happy Birthday to Norman Nailher!) I find myself reminiscing about the whole category of sex acts I have stopped thinking about or even noticing. I guess that’s why they call it coming of age: things that don’t expressly make you come ultimately are childish, unnecessary, or at best lead [...]
You know who’s a dumb fuck? Me. And you. We have both said stupid fucking things that have resulted in us not getting laid. (Or resulted in not getting into a stable relationship or a new and better job or a period of mutual respect and understanding with your family. Save those for babbling on [...]
You don’t think about your girlfriend every time you masturbate. There’s no getting around this, you’re here with a publication dedicated to porn. Unless you mis-typed the web address for The Economist. In which case, Welcome to WHACK!, Mr. Krugman. Maybe you’d like to learn more about Lexi Love. For the rest of you: it’s [...]
1. “Wow, I guess size ISN’T everything.” I am of perfectly average height with a member I am very proud of. A high-percentile penis, if you will. But I heard this once, said as a compliment, if you can fucking believe that, after shtupping an Amazon. No really, she was 6’4, no joke. She used [...]
Top 5 Nice Things About Strip Clubs I’m not a strip club guy. I mean, they have many things I like: nudity, mirrors, pole disinfectant (you’d be surprised at how handy it is getting out red wine stains). But really, I feel strip clubs are all set up to cater to 13 year old boys. [...]
Top 5 Things Porn is implying I should do, that I doubt I have the physical or emotional capacity to do. Human Sexuality is a great thing (unless you’re Mike Huckabee) and so is the videotaped love between a man, a woman, and a staircase (is it me or is every porn shot in front [...]
OK, so a few months ago , a girl I was fucking asked me why sex was so great for guys (NOTE: she did not ask this question during sex or immediately after. This is completely removed from my sexual performance. Honest). I gave her the simplest possible answer: “It feels great!” Not a good [...]
Top 5 Misconceptions I Once had About Sex that Were Either Magnified by Porn or Clarified by It 1. Having anal sex with a woman is something I would never want to do. De-mystified. First, let me say that I had no idea this was even an option growing up. I didn’t know anyone put [...]
