Yes, dear degenerate scum, it’s finally here! The long-awaited return of Lascivious Lists, now by our all new WHACK! stapher, the notorious Norman Nailher! Hollywood, as a collective bastion of morality and truth-seeking, is at the vanguard of asking the important questions of our time, like: “In what world is Jennifer Aniston the plain best [...]

1: Pastel sunglasses never turned anybody on. 2: American Apparel refuses to sign on as a sponsor. 3: Since Fellini is dead, it is unclear as to who would make a suitable director. 4: Pabst Blue Ribbon is more of a vomit-inducer than an aphrodisiac. 5: Potential hipster investors would rather put their money behind [...]

WHACK! Magazine proudly presents its latest Signature Segment: Lascivious Lists with Janet Reenho! Basically, we kind of have huge hard-ons for Cracked.com and we kind of want to be them. So we’re trying our hand at porn-friendly and funny lists, a la Cracked! Without further ado: Four Porn Maneuvers that I am Too Average to [...]