We’ve got a real live one on our hands today, Whackers and Whackettes. This beauty goes by the name of Clyde Dorain Hobbs. On Friday last Mr. Hobbs was apprehended by agents of the United States government. You’re shocked, I’m sure, to learn that a face like this belongs to a criminal. It’s hard to imagine that [...]
Ladies at home, meet Alexander K. (No, that’s not a picture of him, that’s a raccoon). Alexander, meet the lovely ladies at home. Alex is from sunny Volgograd, which, Wikipedia tells me, is “an important industrial city” in Russia. Alex is 44 years old. He’s a nature lover; his other interests include vodka, camping, dirty [...]
We men are delicate creatures, and there is nothing that strikes us to the quick more than the appearance of yet another something that contributes to the independence of the fairer sex. This has been true since time immemorial; the whole Santorum/Limbaugh-led brouhaha currently blowing up American state houses and airwaves is only the latest [...]
Happy Saint Patrick’s day, palmlovers. It’s 5:00 am on the seventeenth and my mouth already tastes like the inside of a bathroom stall. What the are you doing? Wearing a green shirt? Man up, deartheir, and do a fucking carbomb already. Excuse me while I inappropriately take you into my confidence concerning private family matters. [...]
Last month Hazel Jones joined the growing list of almost famous people who have turned down an offer from Steven Hirsh to star in a Vivid movie. Who, you might reasonably ask, is Hazel Jones? Why, I’ll tell you right now. Hazel Jones is a twenty nine year old brunette woman from sunny England; she [...]
Among those of us who are associated with the porn industry, or at least some of us, there is a crazy idea that has some currency: namely, that what we do is having, or someday will have, or at the very least could have, a positive effect on the world. How exactly this is supposed [...]
I come to you today, oh my brothers and sisters in iniquity, as a bearer of bad news. (Before we go any further, by the way, let me say that I would appreciate it if you didn’t take this as an excuse to beat me to death with those big floppy dildos you keep under [...]
Well, it looks like the AIDS Healthcare Foundation has finally won. All my bitching and fulminating, all my blogging and twittering, all of my refusals to go gently into that good night, it has all been for naught. Apparently actually going out and speaking to politicians and voters and spending money on ad campaigns and [...]
I’ve been in Hawaii for the past three weeks. Just in case that sentence hasn’t made you hate me, I’ll add another: There are a fuckload of beautiful, almost naked women in Hawaii. I’m talking like, goddamn. Seriously. There are more bronzed and bared buttcheeks here than there are pineapples. And sideboob? Man, Indonesia better [...]
So, what’s your favorite scene in Bladerunner? The famous opening bit, with the flames shooting up into the air over the futuristic dystopian landscape? That bit where all the Buddhist monks on bicycles go by? The whole thing with the frozen eyeballs? If you offered any of the above answers I have one thing to [...]
